Domestic Abuse in the South Asian Community: Breaking the Silence

The quote above from the world’s most influential South Asian spiritual and political figure, Mahatma Gandhi, indicates that there is an unchallenged, institutionalized role that women take on as victims, suffering in silence. Their suffering goes unquestioned because it is seen as natural and to question it is to question larger aspects of a culture. In light of recent events, women’s roles as victims of domestic abuse within the South Asian community are being publicly acknowledged. Statistics and media coverage have catapulted this issue into the public arena  opening up dialogue from within and outside the South Asian community in B.C. The silence, if you will, is being broken.

During the first week of February, a young mother was found murdered in her home. Two murders and one attempted murder in the fall of 2006 had initially brought the issue of wife abuse in the South Asian community to the public’s attention. Research studies that confirm the severity of this problem are emerging. A study conducted in the eastern United States found that 40% of immigrant women from South Asia are victims of some form of spousal abuse. In reality, that number is significantly higher, as most incidents of spousal abuse are not reported. This is a disturbing statistic, indicating that almost half of all immigrant women from South Asia are falling victim to domestic abuse.

South Asian women struggle with challenges of living within a culture that devalues women. There are deep-rooted gender inequalities that are present in South Asian societies all over the world, and although wife abuse is not a problem that is specific only to South Asians, the cultural factors that facilitate it should not be ignored. In a culture where women’s suffering and humiliation is not directly challenged and where women’s roles as victims are naturalized, wife abuse is able to be the cause of death for far too many women. With the recent deaths, the horror and brutal reality of this problem has hit close to home and the South Asian community is no longer remaining silent about a problem that is too often ignored.

A study conducted in the eastern United States found that 40% of immigrant women from South Asia are victims of some form of spousal abuse. In reality, that number is significantly higher, as most incidents of spousal abuse are not reported. This is a disturbing statistic, indicating that almost half of all immigrant women from South Asia are falling victim to domestic abuse.

On November 2, 2006, Radio India hosted a forum in Surrey  as a community response to three brutal assaults within a two week time frame. Women who spoke at the forum gave a human face to a problem that is usually not discussed in public. Women spoke of the shame, horror and humiliation they faced as victims of spousal abuse. There was an overwhelming plea to raise awareness, and to break the silence about a problem that has typically been treated as a taboo. Women’s stories instilled a simultaneous sense of fear and hope in audience members. The streams of dialogue that were opened up in the forum and the news reports that followed this “hot topic” were progressive in the sense they created a safe space to discuss a sensitive topic. Discussions that took place at the forum and the slew of media coverage that followed this story highlighted the social stigmas associated with women openly discussing intimate partner violence or seeking help of any sort. In light of this community response, one must ask whether the South Asian community has finally come to terms with an issue that is associated with quiet suffering and indignity. Is the South Asian community finally breaking the silence and patterns of shame that perpetuate violence against women?

Wife abuse in the South Asian community has indeed received an overwhelming response. Activists have highlighted the unique challenges and difficulties that immigrant women face when trying to navigate the Canadian legal and social welfare system. Wally Oppal turned the discussion towards the patriarchal nature of South Asian society, citing examples such as dowry and the overall devaluation of women that perpetuates violence. Sikh temple leaders have professed a desire and a willingness to help create change by bringing together men and women in order to create awareness. Indeed, the South Asian community has begun to take ownership of a problem that has erupted in such a manner that it can no longer be ignored. The silence is being broken and the ways in which South Asian women are vulnerable to becoming victims are being revealed. The dirty laundry of a community is being aired out.

The ownership of this problem by the South Asian community has sparked a debate about whether or not it is fair to label this problem as one that is specific to the South Asian community. A support worker at the Surrey Women’s Centre states that, “Domestic violence is not a South Asian problem. It is a problem globally.” Activists and scholars have been quick to point out that this issue needs to be seen as violence against women, regardless of ethnicity. However, certain aspects of South Asian cultural mores have perpetuated this problem and women’s experiences as immigrants impede their ability to seek help. The unique experiences that immigrant communities face should not be ignored and ethnic women should not be generalized, even though many activists are opposed to adding the pre-fix “Indo-Canadian.” Of course violence against women should be seen as an issue relevant to the broader community but cultural norms associated with this issue cannot be disregarded. Progressive solutions and meaningful change focuses on the gendered nature of the problem while respecting the cultural factors come into play.

That being said, it is evident that solutions to this problem are far more complicated than simply telling men that they should not beat their wives. When gender inequality is ingrained within cultural practices, creating change and taking the steps towards a more egalitarian society takes time and effort. Initiatives must be targeted at both men and women, so that change will begin within the home and among families. A major downfall of some initiatives towards gender equality is that they position women against men, creating divides within families. However, there is one initiative that focuses on the intertwining cultural and gendered aspects of domestic abuse in the South Asian community. MOSAIC’s “Men in Change” project focuses on educating men. MOSAIC is a B.C.-based non-profit organization that is dedicated to addressing the needs of new immigrants and refugees. Their “Men in Change” program focuses on providing counseling and education to immigrant men who have threatened, attempted or committed domestic violence against their partners, or are at risk of such behaviour. As a matter of fact, MOSAIC has created a program specifically catered for South Asian men. MOSAIC’s initiative is a positive and constructive step towards transformation because it is targeting the problem at its root cause; and while there are options for victims of domestic violence to seek help, this is one of the few programs that focus on transforming men’s behaviour. MOSAIC’s platform acknowledges the intertwining identities that both perpetrators and victims have as Canadians, immigrants, men, and women.

The recent reports of violence against South Asian women and the media coverage surrounding these tragic events have attracted a lot of attention. The momentum gained from the emerging dialogue on domestic abuse in South Asian homes have given women a safe environment to speak out. Nevertheless, there is a fear that this “hot topic” will loose its momentum while violence against women will continue to exist. It is important for the momentum to survive  with ongoing discussions, and creation of safe spaces for both men and women. The Radio India forum MOSAIC’s initiative have set the standards high for subsequent efforts by the South Asian community to follow through with promises to fight violence against women.

Because gender inequality is ingrained within South Asian cultural norms, change does not and will not come easily. Evolution of a culture, however, begins with education and awareness. The South Asian community’s ownership of this particular problem is a progressive step forward. It is important to remember what it has cost the community to finally begin to realize that we have a major problem on our hands. Three women are dead within a six-month time frame; and there are countless untold incidents of violence that occur each and every day. However, because those are not reported on the front pages of newspapers with the pre-fix “Indo-Canadian” attached to them, our community often chooses to look the other way.